Northern Exposure

The Northern Exposure recovery marathon is moving along. This morning I'm watching one of my favorite episodes. It is the episode when the town of Cicely celebrates Christmas in a variety of ways. Holling fills the church with candles and sings Ave Maria for Shelly because she is missing Christmas Mass. Joel tries to have a Christmas tree but doesn't understand it so he decorates it and gives it to Maggie. Chris reads "The Friendly Beasts" (one of my favorite carols). The town is decorated with Ravens and Marilyn tells the story of The Raven returning the light to the sky so we no longer live in darkness.

This episode always leaves me thoughtful and a bit teary.

I haven't done any decorating for the holidays - Yule, Solstice, Advent or Christmas. I admit I find this time of the year a bit unsettling and confusing. I feel adrift. I really don't have any family traditions to cling to. I've managed to get Thanksgiving figured out by establishing my own tradition. But the Winter Holidays still elude me. I just can't seem to get through all of the surface stuff, the rules and rituals of the seasons. I struggle to get down to the essential and elemental. I haven't yet figured out how to establish my own traditions.

I think that is why I love the Raven festival in Northern Exposure so much. It is so outside the usual holiday stuff. Besides, I love the Raven myth. It shows me what is at the heart of this season - the craving for light, the desire to no longer live in darkness.

I need some egg nog now...